Even if you are not an outdoorsy kind of person, if you are dating over the course of a summer, you are likely to find yourself and your date communing with good old mother nature at some point. No matter what your definition of 'communing with nature is' (and that can range from tenting on a backpacking trail and using a Johnson-log to relieve yourself all the way to a 2 story cottage overlooking a lake, complete with Jacuzzi spa, hot-tub on the deck, and a boathouse, you will likely find yourself sharing many romantic interludes with your loved one. All that fresh air and all those sunsets are natural sexual invigorators – getting her in the intimate frame of mind, and reminding him about the natural side of being alive. Plus, there are those full moon nights with lots of bright stars – hopefully while you end up skinny-dipping together. Likely all of these activities will result in 'sex in the wild'. There is however an element of health risk involved, so you should not just do the 'down and dirty' without being prepared. Big city living means that you do not have some of the natural resistance to bacteria that your cave dwelling ancestors did, so you must be more prepared than they were able to be.
Problem: Sex in the Dirt (and Not the Down and Dirty Type Dirt
Outdoor activities expose you to more grime, and with that, more bacteria. Normal outdoor activities like starting a fire, cooking over a campfire, cutting wood, and just the smoke and bug sprays leaves you a much less desirable person to be around from an intimacy point of view. No matter how amorous you might feel, the Hollywood movie version of an idyllic and loving camping trip or nature walk are unlikely to happen unless you take care of basic sanitation necessities. So there are a few recommendations. Wash up thoroughly before bedtime. When roughing it in the bush, take a container of 'wet wipes' with you to help keep yourself sanitary in your nether regions.
Solution: Hit the Showers
There are ways around this pitfall, of course. Most parks have access to shower facilities, but sometimes these are overloaded, or sometimes you may not be close enough to avail ourselves of them. Going during off peak hours – like after midnight – is a way avoid facility overload. If you are around showers, then you can make use of them. Perhaps using them after midnight or very early in the morning would bypass shower queues. Of course if you on a backpack trail, you will need to either bath in a stream, or else mutually sponge bath each other.
Problem: Being Alone
It doesn’t take an acoustics engineer to realize that the millimeter of nylon that comprises your tent wall won’t do much to keep your sex noises private. And since sound travels so well over water, even people on the other side of the lake will be able to hear what you sound like when you’re trying the Inverted Reverse Pile-driver. Even worse, if you’ve gone camping with friends and their kids, there are going to be a lot of questions in the morning about the strange noises they’ve heard.
Solution: The Long, Long, Long, Nature Hike
This is a great strategy, but make sure you are safe while you do it. First, don’t go where there are bears. They can kill the mood and you’re partner. Second, don’t go at night – finding your way back in the dark when you’re brain has been scrambled by some hot sex is too difficult. Third Bring something to lay on so you do not get sand in your Schlitz. You should also let your camping buddies know where you are going in case you do not come back. That way, if you deplete all your bodily fluids during the coitus and can’t make it back, they can send the rangers out to look for you. Just pull up your shorts before they rescue you, for appearances sake.
Good Camping!
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