This is a Blog about Dating and Sexuality issues on the Internet. This is based mainly on my own opinions and research. Your comments are welcomed and appreciated!
Showing posts with label Dating Security. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating Security. Show all posts
Friday, May 11, 2012
Lesbian Love
For many lesbians, finding a perfect partner can be as easy as going online to a lesbian dating website (or even some more general purpose online dating sites) and creating an informative profile that is interesting to others, and then just sit back and wait for people to connect with you. Sounds easy right , well it is, but you will get a lot more action if you take the time to initiate contact with other people on the site. Look at other people's profiles and reach out to them via chat or email on the site. You will likely find some really interested women to connect with. On top of that, you may find some ideas that you might want to capitalize on and add to your profile. After all, if something in someone else's profile catches your eye, then something similarly phrased in your profile will likely catch someone else's eye as well. Many lesbians are often exposed to different types of groups of people as they go about social, work or other events of importance in their lives. Specialty events are the best places to meet someone with at least one common passion that you can share.
A big mistake that many lesbians make when having their first relationship is rushing into things too quickly. Before you end up waking up next to someone you hardly know. Go out on a few outings first, take the time to explore what you have in common. You need to have some common interests, values and plans for the future that will mesh well. Share things with each other, if you get a new job, if a family member has a baby, a wedding coming up, a promotion you might have gotten, be sure to involve your partner, after all, they are your best friend, not just your lover.
If you are at a family gathering or with friends and someone starts telling gay and lesbian jokes that are in bad taste and insulting to you and your partner, and you see your partner is disgusted by it, just get up and leave, tell them you came to enjoy yourselves not to listen to a lot of trash about how other people live their lives. One awkward situation would be to find yourselves at a social or family gathering and hear people dissing the gay and lesbian community at large. This will require you to make a stand and let people know that you will not tolerate statements of that nature. Insult them if you have to. Hopefully your family and friends understand your sexuality so you can then tell them that you are not at all amused at what was said, and if they really think that, then they are lowlifes that you do not want to associate with anymore. You will love who you want and you don't care what anybody else thinks or says.
When it comes to your partner, make sure that you involve have them meet your family and friends as much as possible. It is important when you are trying to advance a relationship to involve your family and other friends as much as possible.
Being one of God's chosen people, at least when it comes to aids, lesbians are just so lucky that their partner fully gets what it takes to satisfy them sexually. When one woman is making love to another woman each just naturally knows which enjoyment buttons to press for each other. Gay men are similarly blessed, but the aids specter spoils the fun a lot. Pity the poor heterosexual couples where each party is not quite sure what makes the other either satisfied or happy.
Life is for living and enjoying, so live it to the fullest. Live, love and share your life with others, and try to surround yourselves with loving and caring family and friends who accept you for what you are and will be there for you at any time should you need them.
Just remember people are always a little uneasy about things they really don't understand so ensure that you at least surround yourself with friends and family who have a positive attitude to both you, your sexuality, and your situation. Since you are lesbians, it would be best if you have understanding friends from the gay community at large. It is difficult to find truly open minded heterosexual friends, so if you find some, then nurture them well.
God created Adam and Eve, but much suppressed in the early bible was any reference to Eva, who was Eve's lesbian playmate. God was amazing, because she totally understood the needs of women.
If this article has peaked your interest then visit the link below:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/lesbiandating.php
Friday, April 27, 2012
The Dangers of Online Dating
The Killer May Have Been the Date from Hell!
Sonia Varaschin was killed because she was lonely.
This worst case scenario emphasizes the inherent risks of meeting people online. Although the police were able to successfully research the victim's computer, it was too late to help Sonia.
When someone chooses a site like plentyoffish, they are actually seriously increasing their risk of exposure to predators. Let me clarify that comment.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp. I will not try to list them all. Many sites walk the fine edge of maximum danger without actually realizing it.
The problem here is that any site that allows two people to communicate in any way for free is dangerous. Here is why.
There are lots of weirdos out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. There is a very real chance that someone who appears to be nice in a chat room is not so wonderful in real life, and the most dangerous ones are very clever at hiding their anti-social behavior. Of course the acme of risk resides with people who not only stalk you, but who seek to do you harm. They may think nothing of taking your life.
You may wonder why I am singling out free online dating sites, when in fact I am not.
This range of sites also includes facebook.com. You may think that it is safe to accept a friend request from the friend of a friend – after all you trust your friends. But in fact, your friend may very well be the type of person who always accepts friend requests without actually knowing the person. You are not safe unless you know which of your friends would never accept friend requests from unknown people.
Social networking sites that require some form of payment before allowing communication are inherently safer. The reason is that the payment process is a very easy trace for police to follow, and for that very reason, sociopaths and known sexual predators stay clear of these sites. On the other hand, it only takes them a few minutes to set up a string of bogus email account on yahoo ,then set up a phoney email account on gmail ,then delete the yahoo account. At that point you can now go into the gmail account and point the base email account to some fictitious email account on aol, and you have pretty much left a tough trail for police to track. Smart stalkers use a trail for free emails spanning several countries and corporate entities, thus becoming more invisible. Once the stalker has a largely untraceable email account on a free service like gmail, then they are free to use it to join all the free communication sites out there. If they couple this with a disposable cell phone, you are now fully communicating with someone who looks legit, but is untraceable by anyone. They are free to do what they please with you..
So what can you do about it?
Well the first, and most important step is to stay off of free social network dating sites. They are very risky.
The rest is just a lot of common sense:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Make sure you do not let them know anything about who you are or where you live, or any outside contact information in the initial stages.
2) At the point where you want to hear their voice, use an untraceable cell phone or myprivateline.com.
3) When communicating, keep your bullshit filters set to maximum alert. Look for inconsistencies. Look for inconsistencies in what they tell you by asking similar questions and making sure that the answers line up consistently. Lack of consistency in answers is a danger signal – he might be just a BS artist, but it might be something worse. If a stalker is working on you, they are probably pursuing more than one person at the same time and will often mix up the lies.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Make sure that they understand that you are just being careful. Genuine people will likely applaud your apparent paranoia. You must also be willing to do the same. Use a library and a recent newspaper from another town.
6) Your first date should be in a public place and you should meet him there, and do not go home with your date.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they have a problem with you doing this, then get out yesterday!
Use your head before you let yourself lose your heart.
Now if I have not totally freaked you out about online dating sites, here is a good resource page, check out the following link:
Online Dating Sites
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Killer Stalks on Plentyoffish
Death Follows For a First Time Meet In Person Date
Sonia Varaschin was killed because she was lonely.
This situation is a devastating example of the risks underscoring any situation where you meet someone on the internet. In this case, the victim's computer was researched for leads, but the real tragedy is the victim's choice of sites.
When Sonya chose a site like plentyoffish.com she actually maximized her risks, and I must qualify this.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp. I will not try to list them all. Many sites walk the fine edge of maximum danger without actually realizing it.
At issue here is the free dating model in general. Here is why.
There are many social misfits out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. It is very possible that the apparently nice guy that you are chatting to on the Internet is actually possessive and abusive in real life. Of course the acme of risk resides with people who not only stalk you, but who seek to do you harm. They may think nothing of taking your life.
So why am I singling out the free communication dating sites? Well actually I am not!
Other social networking sites like facebook also have this problem. You may think that it is safe to accept a friend request from the friend of a friend – after all you trust your friends. But in fact, your friend may very well be the type of person who always accepts friend requests without actually knowing the person. You are not safe unless you know which of your friends would never accept friend requests from unknown people.
If you are communicating on any site that requires payment of some sort to enable the communication, then you are inherently safer from the get-go. Sexual predators stay clear of pay sites because the money is too easy to trace back to them. It only takes them a few minutes to set up a string of fake email account on yahoo using a real email account as reference, then set up a bogus email account on gmail ,then delete the yahoo account. Now just tie the gmail account to a fictitious email on AOL and it makes it tough to track you. The really smart stalkers will use a free email account trail crossing providers based in several different countries so that police have to do tons of paperwork to get access to the records. With a fist full of untraceable email accounts your typical sexual predator can join free social networking sites to their heart's content. If they couple this with a disposable cell phone, you are now fully communicating with someone who looks legit, but is untraceable by anyone. They are free to do what they please with you..
So what can you do about it?
Well the first, and most important step is to stay off of free social network dating sites. They expose you to unnecessary danger.
The rest is just a lot of common sense:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Keep all details about who you really are or where you live private until you know them better.
2) At some point use a disposable phone yourself, or else take advantage of an anonymous phone service, like MyPrivateLine.com, which offers a disposable number that lets you talk to strangers without revealing your phone number.
3) Before you commit your heart, make sure you are doing due diligence on this person. Be careful with what you say, and listen carefully to what is said. Consider recording the call so you can take notes after. Look for changes in the lines that they string you. Ask for the same information a few different ways over the course of your initial acquaintance and make sure the answers are consistent. Lack of consistency in answers is a danger signal – he might be just a BS artist, but it might be something worse. Stalkers usually have more than one potential victim that they are stringing along, and will often confuse details in what they tell each mark.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Tell them that you are being careful right off the get-go. Genuine people will likely applaud your apparent paranoia. You should be prepared to do the same for them. Consider using the public library and use a current newspaper from a different town to keep your location secret.
6) Your first date should be in a public place and you should meet him there, and do not go home with your date.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they do not like that, then to bad. But now get out right away!
Use your head before you lose your heart so you can keep both.
If you are still interested in paid online dating, check out the following link:
Online Dating Sites
Sonia Varaschin was killed because she was lonely.
This situation is a devastating example of the risks underscoring any situation where you meet someone on the internet. In this case, the victim's computer was researched for leads, but the real tragedy is the victim's choice of sites.
When Sonya chose a site like plentyoffish.com she actually maximized her risks, and I must qualify this.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp. I will not try to list them all. Many sites walk the fine edge of maximum danger without actually realizing it.
At issue here is the free dating model in general. Here is why.
There are many social misfits out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. It is very possible that the apparently nice guy that you are chatting to on the Internet is actually possessive and abusive in real life. Of course the acme of risk resides with people who not only stalk you, but who seek to do you harm. They may think nothing of taking your life.
So why am I singling out the free communication dating sites? Well actually I am not!
Other social networking sites like facebook also have this problem. You may think that it is safe to accept a friend request from the friend of a friend – after all you trust your friends. But in fact, your friend may very well be the type of person who always accepts friend requests without actually knowing the person. You are not safe unless you know which of your friends would never accept friend requests from unknown people.
If you are communicating on any site that requires payment of some sort to enable the communication, then you are inherently safer from the get-go. Sexual predators stay clear of pay sites because the money is too easy to trace back to them. It only takes them a few minutes to set up a string of fake email account on yahoo using a real email account as reference, then set up a bogus email account on gmail ,then delete the yahoo account. Now just tie the gmail account to a fictitious email on AOL and it makes it tough to track you. The really smart stalkers will use a free email account trail crossing providers based in several different countries so that police have to do tons of paperwork to get access to the records. With a fist full of untraceable email accounts your typical sexual predator can join free social networking sites to their heart's content. If they couple this with a disposable cell phone, you are now fully communicating with someone who looks legit, but is untraceable by anyone. They are free to do what they please with you..
So what can you do about it?
Well the first, and most important step is to stay off of free social network dating sites. They expose you to unnecessary danger.
The rest is just a lot of common sense:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Keep all details about who you really are or where you live private until you know them better.
2) At some point use a disposable phone yourself, or else take advantage of an anonymous phone service, like MyPrivateLine.com, which offers a disposable number that lets you talk to strangers without revealing your phone number.
3) Before you commit your heart, make sure you are doing due diligence on this person. Be careful with what you say, and listen carefully to what is said. Consider recording the call so you can take notes after. Look for changes in the lines that they string you. Ask for the same information a few different ways over the course of your initial acquaintance and make sure the answers are consistent. Lack of consistency in answers is a danger signal – he might be just a BS artist, but it might be something worse. Stalkers usually have more than one potential victim that they are stringing along, and will often confuse details in what they tell each mark.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Tell them that you are being careful right off the get-go. Genuine people will likely applaud your apparent paranoia. You should be prepared to do the same for them. Consider using the public library and use a current newspaper from a different town to keep your location secret.
6) Your first date should be in a public place and you should meet him there, and do not go home with your date.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they do not like that, then to bad. But now get out right away!
Use your head before you lose your heart so you can keep both.
If you are still interested in paid online dating, check out the following link:
Online Dating Sites
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