The Dangers of Online Dating

The Killer May Have Been the Date from Hell!

Sonia Varaschin was killed because she was lonely.

This worst case scenario emphasizes the inherent risks of meeting people online. Although the police were able to successfully research the victim's computer, it was too late to help Sonia.

When someone chooses a site like plentyoffish, they are actually seriously increasing their risk of exposure to predators. Let me clarify that comment.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp.  I will not try to list them all. Many sites walk the fine edge of maximum danger without actually realizing it.

The problem here is that any site that allows two people to communicate in any way for free is dangerous. Here is why.

There are lots of weirdos out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. There is a very real chance that someone who appears to be nice in a chat room is not so wonderful in real life, and the most dangerous ones are very clever at hiding their anti-social behavior. Of course the acme of risk resides with people who not only stalk you, but who seek to do you harm. They may think nothing of taking your life.

You may wonder why I am singling out free online dating sites, when in fact I am not.
This range of sites also includes facebook.com. You may think that it is safe to accept a friend request from the friend of a friend – after all you trust your friends. But in fact, your friend may very well be the type of person who always accepts friend requests without actually knowing the person. You are not safe unless you know which of your friends would never accept friend requests from unknown people.

Social networking sites that require some form of payment before allowing communication are inherently safer. The reason is that the payment process is a very easy trace for police to follow, and for that very reason, sociopaths and known sexual predators stay clear of these sites.  On the other hand, it only takes them a few minutes to set up a string of bogus email account on yahoo ,then set up a phoney email account on gmail ,then delete the yahoo account.  At that point you can now go into the gmail account and point the base email account to some fictitious email account on aol, and you have pretty much left a tough trail for police to track.  Smart stalkers use a trail for free emails spanning several countries and corporate entities, thus becoming more invisible.  Once the stalker has a largely untraceable email account on a free service like gmail, then they are free to use it to join all the free communication sites out there.  If they couple this with a disposable cell phone, you are now fully communicating with someone who looks legit, but is untraceable by anyone. They are free to do what they please with you..

So what can you do about it?
Well the first, and most important step is to stay off of free social network dating sites. They are very risky.
The rest is just a lot of common sense:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Make sure you do not let them know anything about who you are or where you live, or any outside contact information in the initial stages.
2) At the point where you want to hear their voice, use an untraceable cell phone or myprivateline.com.
3) When communicating, keep your bullshit filters set to maximum alert.  Look for inconsistencies. Look for inconsistencies in what they tell you by asking similar questions and making sure that the answers line up consistently. Lack of consistency in answers is a danger signal – he might be just a BS artist, but it might be something worse. If a stalker is working on you, they are probably pursuing more than one person at the same time and will often mix up the lies.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Make sure that they understand that you are just being careful. Genuine people will likely applaud your apparent paranoia. You must also be willing to do the same. Use a library and a recent newspaper from another town.
6) Your first date should be in a public place and you should meet him there, and do not go home with your date.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they have a problem with you doing this, then get out yesterday!

Use your head before you let yourself lose your heart.

Now if I have not totally freaked you out about online dating sites, here is a good resource page, check out the following link:

Online Dating Sites

Chat

Do you know what a chat line is? They are essentially a way for people to communicate, either by phone, or via video chatting online. All services allow one on one chatting, but several allow for group chatting. There are also global chat services that leverage the power of the Internet. Chat services offer everything from phone sex, relationships, and just a friendly voice. Chat lines are becoming increasingly popular and more and more people are using them. The number of choices can be overwhelming, but if you take your time and choose carefully, it should not be a problem.

                                        Telephone Chatting

If you have never used a chat service, you are in for a surprise as to how easy it is. Simply call a phone number (which is usually local and therefore not subject to long distance charges), record your personal ad so other people can see if they want to connect with you even if you are not online. At that point, you simply sit back and start chatting with other people. It is almost like being on an old time party line where you can hear other peoples conversations.

What is so popular about phone chat? Well here are a few reason's:

1)Chat lines are just so low tech. No expensive computer to buy. Simply pick up your phone, dial a number, and start talking. Anyone can do that..
2)You can review other peoples verbal profiles and get a feel for how interesting a person might be before ever wasting your time contacting them. You, of course, will also have to set up your own verbal profile – just make sure that you plan it so that you sound interesting and vivacious.
3)Chat services are mostly local in nature because that is where they are most effective. This makes it easier for you to find someone close to you. This is not always easy to do these days, people just don't have the time on their hands they used to have so phone chat lines are very convenient. This is why so many people prefer them.
4)Phone chat lines give you the opportunity to use their live chat to talk to someone that you have something in common with and someone that may interest you. This is a good way to get to know them so you can decide if you want to take it a step further and actually meet them in person.
5)With phone chat lines you don't have to give out your name you can be completely anonymous keeping yourself safe from weirdos and kooks while enjoying yourself and having fun in the process.
6)Many phone chat services also allow you to anonymously text message people that you are becoming more friendly with. This allows you to keep your communications going all day, even if you are not both on the chat line at the same time.

Phone chat lines will always be around and will always be popular for those looking to meet someone interesting and special, and for those just looking for someone they can call friend and share a few laughs with .



                                  Online Chat

Online chatting has been considered a tremendous success when it comes to starting a long term friendship or relationship. Everyday more people are turning to the Internet to find  other people like themselves also looking for that special somebody, someone who shares  the same passions, interests and goals. Some are very much interested in finding their life partner and chatting is a good way to break the ice and is seen as a good starting point. Over the years many adults have found genuine loving relationships that actually lead to happy marriages, most of these happy endings were started by the simple act of chatting.
There are several advantages to online chat such as:

1)You can be completely anonymous and feel safe knowing that you only give out as much info about yourself as you want.
2)You have the possibility of connecting with just about any person of the opposite sex anywhere in the world.
3)If you're gay or lesbian its nice to know that there are hundreds of chatting sites you can use to connect to other gays and lesbians seeking someone to share your life with.
4)You can connect solely with people who have the same interests and passions as yourself.
5)You can also learn about other country’s and cultures by chatting with people online from other parts of the world. You also have the opportunity to exchange photo's and even recipes from other country’s, think of the possibilities, there have been a lot of long term relationships made by people from other country's who met on an online chat site.
6)Online chat lines have such a wide appeal for not only singles but seniors, married couples, adults, christian singles, lesbians, gays the list goes on. You can use online chat lines to connect to long lost friends as well as family members you may have lost contact with over the years, the possibilities are absolutely endless.
7)With online chat you don't necessarily have to be looking or a relationship with someone, you can use online chat to meet and start long term friendships with people in your own town or from around the world.

Online Chat as well as Phone Chat also have their disadvantages, these are a few things to remember when using either one.

1)People can hide their true identity.
2)People can lie about their marital status.
3)People can be dishonest about their age and sex.
4)People can hide their true character.
5)People can hide their true intentions.
6)People can also hide and lie about their criminal background.
7)People online can be a sexual predator so be careful before meeting

Never the less, with the right knowledge and approach, all the risk associated with online and phone chatting can be totally eliminated. So if you have educated yourself  and think you are ready for Online or Phone chat, then go ahead,  enjoy yourself, have fun and be safe. You will find a link below to a site that has a lot of chatting services mentioned. It is a great place to find superior chat services.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/videodating.php

Wonderful But Weird

Well where do I start?

I had been out of a two year relationship for a short time. My brother called and told me that he needed me to go out with his girlfriend's brother as a favor. I really did not want to get involved with anyone so soon. However, he assured me that he had met the guy and he was different from most of the guys I had dated over the years. He made is sound like his girlfriend would really be pissed at him if I did not go, so I found myself agreeing. He told me that he would call me and let me know where to meet this guy, he asked me to please be nice to him as he didn't want any flack from his girlfriend. I told him that I was always a lady, just that some guys did not deserve that I act much like a lady. As long as he behaved himself, so would I. Later that night he emailed me this guys photo,”WOW” he was gorgeous! So what was wrong with him?

We talked on the phone and decided to meet at a local chain restaurant not far from me. As I walked in, he stood up and signaled me over to our table. It was nice that he had came early enough to arrange for that ahead of time. At least he was considerate. I knew it was him from the photo I had seen but he looked even better in person. When I got to the table, he introduced himself, and we sat down to read the menus that were already sitting there. 

When the waiter came over, he asked me what I would like to eat. We both ordered the chicken and ribs. We had a nice Pinot Grigio with our supper. After we ate, we just sat around talking while we finished the wine. We both drank sparingly because we both seemed to want the evening to last. He was both funny and articulate. Even considering the fact that it was a first date, I had one of the best times that I have ever had. He was so easy to talk to, likely because we had so many interests in common. I just could not believe that it was happening to me. I was already starting to fall for him. As we were leaving, he offered to drive me home. On the way, I was forward enough to ask him if he was doing anything the next night. He took the hint and asked me out. I was ecstatic.

 For the next two weeks we were either talking on the phone or chatting online, then he asked if I would like to go away for the weekend to his cabin. Of course I jumped at the chance to go away with him, it was going to be the weekend of my dreams. The day started early as he picked me up at 6:00 a.m. We stopped at a neighborhood McDonalds for an couple of egg McMuffins and coffee. Then we proceeded to on our way. I could not get over the vistas as we traveled. A rolling landscape changed to mountains with green coniferous trees and deep blue lakes. We finally arrived after a three hour drive. The cabin was really something, small but cozy as well as very romantic. It was small, only one bedroom. It had a single fireplace in the middle that was up to the task of heating the entire building.

 The night was heavenly. We made love for hours. His stamina was one of the best things about him, and he knew exactly what buttons to push to keep me at a high pitch. I have never had so many orgasms. I was exhausted when I finally fell asleep, and the morning came way to soon.

And then my elation evaporated! I had always been a bit suspicious of him, especially at first. But this had been lulled over the last few weeks. As my eyes fully opened, I realized that he was not in bed with me. I turned over and saw him. And stared! He was standing there wearing my discarded unmentionables. And they were way too tight on him. I was grossed out! As I stared, he informed me that he liked to cross dress once in a while, and asked me if it turned me on. I informed him that it didn't and he had better give my stuff back.

I had to chase him around to get my things. While doing so I decided that this had to end. Maybe there was someone out there for him, but it sure as hell wasn't me. After packing, we had a very quiet three hour drive back. It seemed to take forever.When I got in the door, the first thing I did was to through out the bra and panties that he had sullied and then I took a long hot shower in an effort to purge my soul of him.

Why me? It was the last time I let my brother fix me up with anybody.

I was depressed for quite a while, and then decided to take matters into my own hands to turn things around. Rather than rely on friends for dates, I joined an online dating site. I dated a few guys before I finally found someone that I bonded with. I am going steady with a guy who may not be the Greek god of male beauty, but he is funny and reliable. I am head over heels in love with him. And guess what? He does not wear my clothes!

If your interested in finding a great guy like I did just follow the link below

Find Your Soulmate

The Methods to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being. Many couples forget their roots. Once they start to live together, they seem to gradually lose the bonds that attracted them in the first place. Why is that?  As individuals do we really change that much?  I don't think so. So why the drift? Often we just get comfortable and lazy. To fix it, we have to inject new life into the mix.

You should reflect on your relationship and what has changed—likely there was there more kissing, touching, texting and bantering than now . Sending those little love notes or messages to each other throughout the day does wonders in moving a relationship forward.  It all used to come so easy with the excitement of having a new partner - do we have to let that excitement die? Some relationships were never meant to last, but of those that are, it is important that we actively pursue success.  We often blame the failure on stress, stress at work, financial stress, etc., but this is not the real culprit here.  All these issues were probably the same ones we've  dealt with in the past that made us closer in the first place.

We fall into a pattern- we get lazy. Both partners get into their comfort zone, and let things go,and before you know it their at that point where they never thought they'd be. Men for instance, start ogling more at other women, and making comments about how good looking they are, and they forget about the one their with.  Now, I am not putting any blame here - women can be guilty of this also. The point is we stop complimenting each other, and for the person at the other end of this scenario it can be quite a let down. We start to feel less adequate - less attractive. Most times were even afraid to say something for fear of upsetting the other person even though their actions have made us angry. Women you need to speak up, and express your  disapproval, and men you  need to listen without getting your  backs up, and vice versa.  We must always be sensitive to our partner's feelings - to build a lifelong romance takes work, commitment, understanding and tolerance of each others viewpoints. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:

1) Go out of your way to complement your partner each day. It will make both of you feel good.
2) Love them and tell them that you love them. Never force them to assume that you love them
3) Men have to stop staring at other women – it may be conditioned by advertising, but it is just demeaning to your partner. And women need to think about comments that they may make about other guys.
4)  Honesty.....no one likes to be lied to so why do it. Tell each other everything, it will produce conversation
5) No matter how busy you are, and other than sleeping at night, make sure you set aside at least an hour a day to be alone together
6) Talk to each other and make sure you bring up issues and work them through before they become an insurmountable obstacle.
7) Start your day off with a kiss and a statement that re-enforces your love and commitment to each other.
8) Be relaxed and do not be afraid of public displays of affection – some public kissing and tenderness will exhibit to the world how you care about your partner and broadcast to them that you love them and want to make sure that everyone knows it
9) Don't be so serious...Laugh, smile, you know that saying “Partners that laugh together stay together” Its so true.....
10)  Make a point of never going to bed angry- whatever is bothering you talk it out, its not worth losing sleep over, and it starts your next day on a negative note. Make some time to snuggle when you get into bed....create a good night ritual. Some couples just get into their own sides of the bed, and that's it. I don't know about you, but  that is not my idea of a Good Night. Take a few moments to caress, and make going to sleep a wonderful thing knowing that you will be waking up beside your Prince or Princess in the morning.

Relationships are not work at all once you develop the habits of endearment that make any relationship thrive.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com The Methods to Maintain a Healthy Relationship/datingandhealthadvice.php

Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being. Many couples forget their roots. Once they start to live together, they seem to gradually lose the bonds that attracted them in the first place. Why is that?  Is it change, or is it terminal dis-interestry?  I don't think so. So why the drift? The truth is we just get too comfortable, and no longer put forth  the effort  that we did in the beginning. To repair the damage, an active program of preventative maintenance is required.

Think about your relationship, and how you and your lover interacted when the relationship was new—you will likely find that you had a lot more intimacy in the early days of your relationship. This would include more phone calls, texting, touching, kissing and other endearments . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now.  It all used to come so easy with the excitement of having a new partner - do we have to let that excitement die? Some relationships were never meant to last, but of those that are, it is important that we actively pursue success.  Stress is the usual place to put the blame, but that is not always applicable.  All these issues were probably the same ones we've  dealt with in the past that made us closer in the first place.

If we are like most couples, we just get lazy. Both partners get into their comfort zone, and let things go,and before you know it their at that point where they never thought they'd be. Men might get in the habit of checking out other women and not paying attention to the one they are with.  Now, I am not putting any blame here - women can be guilty of this also. The issue is that we start to neglect each other in small ways that end up being very significant in the long run. We make each other feel less attractive, less desireable and less needed. Most times were even afraid to say something for fear of upsetting the other person even though their actions have made us angry. Both men and women need to be fearless in expressing their disapproval, and faultless in absorbing and trying to understand the complaints.  We must always be sensitive to our partner's feelings - to build a lifelong romance takes work, commitment, understanding and tolerance of each others viewpoints. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:

1) Go out of your way to complement your partner each day. It will make both of you feel good.
2) Tell them you love them --- sometimes we don't hear this enough
3) Men have to stop staring at other women – it may be conditioned by advertising, but it is just demeaning to your partner. And women need to think about comments that they may make about other guys.
4)  Dishonesty is the root of all relationship dissension – make a habit of telling the truth, even if it might lead to embarrassing explanations.
5) No matter how busy you are, and other than sleeping at night, make sure you set aside at least an hour a day to be alone together
6) Talk to each other and make sure you bring up issues and work them through before they become an insurmountable obstacle.
7) Always start your day off with a kiss, and a hug, and a good morning- it starts your day off on a positive note, and it feels real good too.
8) Be spontaneous- flirt with each other-  a little kissing on a stairwell before work can be rather sexy, and keep your partner thinking about you throughout the day
9) Make sure that you smile and take life as the fun adventure that it is meant to be. You may think that frowning and being serious all the time is a way to get ahead in life, but in actual fact it works against you in your personal life, your relationships and in your professional business life as well.
10)  Make a point of never going to bed angry- whatever is bothering you talk it out, its not worth losing sleep over, and it starts your next day on a negative note. Make some time to snuggle when you get into bed....create a good night ritual. Some couples just get into their own sides of the bed, and that's it. I don't know about you, but  that is not my idea of a Good Night. Take a few moments to caress, and make going to sleep a wonderful thing knowing that you will be waking up beside your Prince or Princess in the morning.

Relationships are hard work but worth the effort. Keep at it so that your relationship becomes more play than work. When it becomes second nature to you, you have truly achieved the epiphany of satisfaction.
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/datingandhealthadvice.php

Dating Online – Tips for Success

Online Dating Positives

One of the most amazing things that modern technology has offered to the human race is the entire new way that it is possible to meet someone new. Yes, I am talking about online dating sites. In the hundreds of thousands of years that human beings have been meeting and interacting with each other, there has never been anything that approaches the reach, the utility, and the convenience of online dating.

Up until recently, you were limited to whoever was in your immediate vicinity and social circle. Now, you can meet and woo anyone in the world. The most amazing thing is that you can look through what they say about themselves and shortlist a bunch of people that you are interested in that also have some things in common with you. On top of this, most dating systems have searching algorithms that will help you find all those people in the first place. It is just so amazingly easy.



Cons to Online Dating

Online dating sites are not foolproof. One problem is that people say what they are looking for, but they really do not know exactly what they want. People are much better at saying what they do not want in a partner than they are in saying what they want. Even so, people will often end up falling for someone who has many characteristics that they say they would not touch with a ten foot pole. On top of all that, online dating sites are the victims of members who exaggerate about themselves a lot, or just plain lie. For example, the hot young woman you think you’ve been chatting up online could be a 500 pound rat-catcher from Arsspik, Siberia. Or vise versa. Men and women both tend to post younger and more flattering pictures of themselves before they gained 40 pounds, and had more hair. You will never know if any of the people that you are chatting with are blowing smoke up your butt or not. As well, the person you are considering as a partner may be married, and looking to cheat. You don’t want to be part of that. Better to be involved with someone being honest to you, as well as his or her significant other.

The bigger dating sites will actually have millions of profiles for you to search through, and that is a curse! Even with the computerized help, the task is daunting. How can you zero in better? Of course if you are like me you just need to search for "deaf, dumb, oversexed female who owns liquor store"!



Other Online Dating Recommendations

A name like THREEINCHTOOL is unlikely to gain you much positive attention after all. Chose something that you can mention in mixed company, or better yet, to your minister. Another gem of advice is to let out your personal details gradually. Do not rush it. Slowly let the other person get to know you, and vise-versa. It’s safer. Talk on the phone a few times before meeting in person. Use a phone anonymizing service for the first few calls to protect you from any potential wackos that you might connect with.

Use a recent, accurate picture of yourself. If you present yourself the way that you actually are, there will be no disappointments when you first meet with her, and that will be a plus Do not put up a picture on your profile that you would be ashamed to show in public. You may be tempted to do something daring, but do not. You will only attract the wrong crowd. Also, although dating sites are supposed to be anonymous, pictures are not, and someone you know may recognize you, so do not put up any sort of compromising picture. Never complain about your current situation or your ex. Nobody likes to listen to a complainer. If pressed, admit to making a few mistakes and that you think you have learned from them. Also, make sure that you have more than one person that you are talking to at the same time. So many people stretch the truth in online dating that getting your hopes up on one specific person before you meet them is most likely to end in disappointment. So join several sites, preferably under different online names, and have 4 or 5 people on your active friends list at any one time. It is okay to date more than one person at a time until you are ready to commit. It is expected!

For your first in-person date when meeting someone after chatting online, there are some common sense moves you can make to ensure it goes smoothly. Choose a day date, first off. That way if you don’t hit it off, you can leave and still have your evening free. Second, if your date is not over coffee, set your phone alarm to go off a half hour into the date. That way, if it’s not going well, you can jet with an excuse. Lastly, let them know you’re also seeing other people. It is best to be honest, and ask them for the same thing.

If you have picked well, you have a strong chance of achieving instant chemistry, and potentially a lifetime of happiness. Bon Chance!


http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/

Killer Stalks on Plentyoffish

Death Follows For a First Time Meet In Person Date

Sonia Varaschin was killed because she was lonely.

This situation is a devastating example of the risks underscoring any situation where you meet someone on the internet. In this case, the victim's computer was researched for leads, but the real tragedy is the victim's choice of sites.

When Sonya chose a site like plentyoffish.com she actually maximized her risks, and I must qualify this.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp.  I will not try to list them all. Many sites walk the fine edge of maximum danger without actually realizing it.

At issue here is the free dating model in general. Here is why.

There are many social misfits out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. It is very possible that the apparently nice guy that you are chatting to on the Internet is actually possessive and abusive in real life. Of course the acme of risk resides with people who not only stalk you, but who seek to do you harm. They may think nothing of taking your life.

So why am I singling out the free communication dating sites? Well actually I am not!
Other social networking sites like facebook also have this problem. You may think that it is safe to accept a friend request from the friend of a friend – after all you trust your friends. But in fact, your friend may very well be the type of person who always accepts friend requests without actually knowing the person. You are not safe unless you know which of your friends would never accept friend requests from unknown people.

If you are communicating on any site that requires payment of some sort to enable the communication, then you are inherently safer from the get-go. Sexual predators stay clear of pay sites because the money is too easy to trace back to them.  It only takes them a few minutes to set up a string of fake email account on yahoo using a real email account as reference, then set up a bogus email account on gmail ,then delete the yahoo account.  Now just tie the gmail account to a fictitious email on AOL and it makes it tough to track you.  The really smart stalkers will use a free email account trail crossing providers based in several different countries so that police have to do tons of paperwork to get access to the records.  With a fist full of untraceable email accounts your typical sexual predator can join free social networking sites to their heart's content.  If they couple this with a disposable cell phone, you are now fully communicating with someone who looks legit, but is untraceable by anyone. They are free to do what they please with you..

So what can you do about it?
Well the first, and most important step is to stay off of free social network dating sites. They expose you to unnecessary danger.
The rest is just a lot of common sense:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Keep all details about who you really are or where you live private until you know them better.
2) At some point use a disposable phone yourself, or else take advantage of an anonymous phone service, like MyPrivateLine.com, which offers a disposable number that lets you talk to strangers without revealing your phone number.
3) Before you commit your heart, make sure you are doing due diligence on this person. Be careful with what you say, and listen carefully to what is said. Consider recording the call so you can take notes after.  Look for changes in the lines that they string you. Ask for the same information a few different ways over the course of your initial acquaintance and make sure the answers are consistent. Lack of consistency in answers is a danger signal – he might be just a BS artist, but it might be something worse. Stalkers usually have more than one potential victim that they are stringing along, and will often confuse details in what they tell each mark.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Tell them that you are being careful right off the get-go. Genuine people will likely applaud your apparent paranoia. You should be prepared to do the same for them. Consider using the public library and use a current newspaper from a different town to keep your location secret.
6) Your first date should be in a public place and you should meet him there, and do not go home with your date.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they do not like that, then to bad. But now get out right away!

Use your head before you lose your heart so you can keep both.

If you are still interested in paid online dating, check out the following link:

Online Dating Sites