Sonia Varaschin was killed because she was lonely.
This situation is a devastating example of the risks underscoring any situation where you meet someone on the internet. In this case, the victim's computer was researched for leads, but the real tragedy is the victim's choice of sites.
When Sonya chose a site like plentyoffish.com she actually maximized her risks, and I must qualify this.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp. I will not try to list them all. Many sites walk the fine edge of maximum danger without actually realizing it.
At issue here is the free dating model in general. Here is why.
There are many social misfits out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. It is very possible that the apparently nice guy that you are chatting to on the Internet is actually possessive and abusive in real life. Of course the acme of risk resides with people who not only stalk you, but who seek to do you harm. They may think nothing of taking your life.
So why am I singling out the free communication dating sites? Well actually I am not!
Other social networking sites like facebook also have this problem. You may think that it is safe to accept a friend request from the friend of a friend – after all you trust your friends. But in fact, your friend may very well be the type of person who always accepts friend requests without actually knowing the person. You are not safe unless you know which of your friends would never accept friend requests from unknown people.
If you are communicating on any site that requires payment of some sort to enable the communication, then you are inherently safer from the get-go. Sexual predators stay clear of pay sites because the money is too easy to trace back to them. It only takes them a few minutes to set up a string of fake email account on yahoo using a real email account as reference, then set up a bogus email account on gmail ,then delete the yahoo account. Now just tie the gmail account to a fictitious email on AOL and it makes it tough to track you. The really smart stalkers will use a free email account trail crossing providers based in several different countries so that police have to do tons of paperwork to get access to the records. With a fist full of untraceable email accounts your typical sexual predator can join free social networking sites to their heart's content. If they couple this with a disposable cell phone, you are now fully communicating with someone who looks legit, but is untraceable by anyone. They are free to do what they please with you..
So what can you do about it?
Well the first, and most important step is to stay off of free social network dating sites. They expose you to unnecessary danger.
The rest is just a lot of common sense:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Keep all details about who you really are or where you live private until you know them better.
2) At some point use a disposable phone yourself, or else take advantage of an anonymous phone service, like MyPrivateLine.com, which offers a disposable number that lets you talk to strangers without revealing your phone number.
3) Before you commit your heart, make sure you are doing due diligence on this person. Be careful with what you say, and listen carefully to what is said. Consider recording the call so you can take notes after. Look for changes in the lines that they string you. Ask for the same information a few different ways over the course of your initial acquaintance and make sure the answers are consistent. Lack of consistency in answers is a danger signal – he might be just a BS artist, but it might be something worse. Stalkers usually have more than one potential victim that they are stringing along, and will often confuse details in what they tell each mark.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Tell them that you are being careful right off the get-go. Genuine people will likely applaud your apparent paranoia. You should be prepared to do the same for them. Consider using the public library and use a current newspaper from a different town to keep your location secret.
6) Your first date should be in a public place and you should meet him there, and do not go home with your date.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they do not like that, then to bad. But now get out right away!
Use your head before you lose your heart so you can keep both.
If you are still interested in paid online dating, check out the following link:
Online Dating Sites
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